its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
