Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize