I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
