it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize