yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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