i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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