Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
