I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She announced her abortion via fbk
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
