So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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