Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
A bitchslap is in order.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
