my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
