ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
A bitchslap is in order.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
