I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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