May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
