i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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