So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
