I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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