Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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