it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
