btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
