Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
