went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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