office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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