do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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