Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
