got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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