she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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