That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
