when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
