haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
