I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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