Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Randomize
