Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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