I'm gonna have a badass scar
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
