i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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