Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she woke up with a sticky ear
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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