ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
