i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
