i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wish i was in the wii world.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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