we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
And then he peed in my hair
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