So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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