you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
