i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
