ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Couch. On fire.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
