i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
