Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
His nipple licking is glorious
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