i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
