she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
