He is an equal opportunity slut.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
