tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
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it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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