Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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