I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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