OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
