dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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