Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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