My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
