He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
