Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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