It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize