How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize