My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
