Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
