hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
