Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
