What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just googled if crying burns calories
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
